Stoltenberg: Refusing to Be a Man

"Refusing to be a Man" by John Stoltenberg was my first exposure to radical PRO-feminist theory, and my reaction was defensive and predictable. I heard Stoltenberg speaking at the National Conference on Men and Masculinity in Pittsburgh in 1989, and thought the author was "misandryst". How can I refuse to be a man? What am I supposed to be? Not all men!

Now, 2-1/2 decades later, I've grown to understand that only by refusing to "Be a Man" could I discover the true nature of my masculinity, that by joining the feminist struggle to end sexism and homophobia I could help liberate men from patriarchy as well. Here's a rare link is where the comments are actually worth reading! https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/433187.Refusing_to_be_a_Man

(Picture is John Stoltenberg with his parter, radical feminist Andrea Dworkin)

"The term 'real men' has become so fraught, and using it is layered with so many different meanings. But since anti-feminists believe that pro-feminist men cannot be real men, we decided take back the notion that supporting women's equality does not in any way diminish our manhood. For both Zachary and myself, supporting gender equality begins at home, with our relationships to my wife/his mother. It's about the way we treat our friends and families — and how we treat each other as guys." - Michael Kimmel, executive director, Center for the Study of Men and Masculinities and his son Zachary. 

Kimmel has been a long time member of national organization for pro-feminist men, NOMAS. It's been around almost 4 decades, rising from men's awareness as 2nd wave feminism called us out to change and help the work of women's liberation and feminism. http://site.nomas.org/

Why this blog?

Pro-Feminist Men is a blog dedicated to raising awareness and providing support for healthy masculinity, making change both personal and political. We are dedicated to eliminating sexism, misogyny, racism and homophobia. All men are welcome to join in this effort. Actions include sponsoring pro-feminist men's support groups, healing circles, discussions, rallies and awareness campaigns.